No More Mr Nice Guy
When I picked up Robert Glover’s book, No More Mr Nice Guy, I was living in a world of shame. I was once more single, another broken relationship. I read the book, identified with every word and then , honestly, forgot about it. It took one more broken relationship to remind me why the book impacted me so much. Alone, depressed and wondering if I would ever be “normal” I read the book again. This time got a therapist (who , turns out works heavily with Dr. Glover) and went on a year’s long journey of self discovery. I also got my first ever life coach who, along with all the work I was doing – changed the course of my life.
I attended a certification workshop with Dr. Glover himself and committed myself to helping other Nice Guys.
I have helped dozens of men in their journey of self acceptance, reduction of toxic shame, and build and see their true value to the world.
In my own experience, Nice Guys are not all damaged, we lack an idea of inner value. Without this , we have no confidence, the value is instead assigned to how the world sees us, not how we see ourselves. For the nice guy, the world is a mirror that with their broken perception, they mistakenly thing reflects who they are. The mirror they use is build on their world of inner shame and self loathing so in their mind, they always loose out. Never living up to, never good enough and always coming up short.
The result – boundary less relationships, constant feelings of victimhood, procrastination, depression, compulsive behaviors, constantly “settling” and never achieving, heightened anxiety, self loathing and an anxious attachment style.
I say to most Nice Guys, give me 90 days. Undoing a life time of ruminations and broken inner dialog is not an overnight matter. But using Dr. Glover’s book as an outline, we can commence this journey together. As a friend once said “why would you go into a jungle (especially the jungle of your own mind) without a guide?” Are you a Nice Guy who is working on recovery? Contact me and lets start the journey together