As a photographer and filmmaker, I think often of color space and contrast. Actually if you ever see my video work, I work alot with contrast in post production. There is something to an image to me that has great highlights and crushed blacks that delivers a deeper looking image.
While I was shooting in Hawaii this past week, I really felt this process of contrast as it applies to my own life….to my soul.
I noticed I was going about my work with confidence, the athletes I worked with all accepted me into their tribe and delivered heartfelt stories about their own process to get to this championship event. I noticed how I was able to handle my own needs, not count on approval and focus on the job I was there to do. All of this without the paralyzing background noise that used to overcome me.
As a concept contrast is about enhancing space photographically. Innerpersonally to me is about looking at the spaces where I was once and seeing the opposites of that reality in my present experience.
Before doing all of this work on myself – being a Nice Guy, I was a push over. I had no confidence in myself and my abilities and put everyone else before me in a quest to gain their approval. If they approved of me, then I could hide away all of my own inner shame and guilt about the person I perceived myself to be.
The neat part for this trip was to be keenly aware of my place in a community. A feeling I had not really experienced on such a deep level. Mainly because I developed the ablity to just lock into the moments in front of me as they are happening without a bunch of self-obsessed interpretation.
Doing this work, having a coach and guidance has created this contrast in me. The darks are certainly dark, but they are images. Imprints of an old way of thinking and being. The highlights, however glow richly in the image of who I am today.
I have come to accept the dark and the light as equal parts of me. Even befriended the shame and the guilt so that they are no longer monsters hiding in the closet. I am not afraid of being fully revealed. Actually revealing myself to another person is the greatest gift I can give to myself and others. And better yet, I know when I need to break away and take a time out for myself. I am not afraid of being judged for doing it. It’s a natural part of my working being. Self-soothing is as vital as breathing to me.
I get really grateful for the coaches and mentors in my life who showed me this new way of life. Had I not been placed on this path, I would have missed a lot of goodness in my life. I wish the same thing for every guy that comes into my coaching fold. I want you to be confident in yourself and your abilities. I want you to stop being a pushover and taken advantage of and most importantly put yourself first. Sure it felt selfish at first to do this. But once I started to do it, everything changed in my life. Suddenly my own dreams and goals became a driving force of my life intention; and from there – the checklist of dreams I had for my life started to come true.